Most Likely To Write A Book

I have not written that book, but I have certainly gathered a lifetime of interesting experiences. As I sit in a Motel 6, my computer humming in the background, I am torn as to how to construct this message. I can only focus on how many times I will use the word "I". Sorry about that. The title "I'm Not Happy and I'm Not Sad" is borrowed from the lyrics of Steven Patrick Morrissey, and I think that fits the many years of silly musical devotion. It's such a fine description of me and the conversation that I never had with too many of my close friends. Mental health issues have plagued me from early childhood and after surviving a series of heart attacks at 49, I thought I adopted a new outlook on life. That new outlook is just more extreme in its highs and lows. I became over-confident and willing to take risks and also became more isolated, withdrawn and unwilling to take advice. I'm 55 and I find myself rather ashamed and in embarrassed circumstances (that term comes from Dickens, my favorite author). My position at a government utility job I loved was eliminated in September, 2025. I took the loss personally and did nothing to replace it, after collecting Unemployment for 6 months. Depression took over me and I rationalized my lack of action. 

As of today, I have had to give up my studio apartment and I moved 5 hours away from the San Diego area. I really had no plan, no resources, and nothing more than faith and good friends. What am I trying to achieve here? I am lowered to e-begging. Asking my friends to help me out. If I can get on my feet, I will flourish. I put myself in a corner, and I take all responsibility for that. If anyone wants to know the story, I can send you a message. I've kept this collapse to myself. It's embarrassing. I really am facing homelessness. I just broke down, failed myself, failed the people that thought I'd be OK and I really can't give any reason as to why I gave up on myself. One day blended into the next and I had no ability to sort it out. 

Thankfully, I am in touch with some services here. I'm trying to earn enough for a room or studio here in Atascadero. $1600 to $2500 is my goal, as folks up here want first and last month's rent. I have already received some generous help.

Good News: I arrived here on Sunday, September 25th and found a part-time job at a nice hotel 4 days later. Yesterday, September 29, I had a second video conference interview at 8 a.m.. I was offered a full-time job 20 minutes later. I will be working in Utility Location, where I will learn even more skills related to my previous Utility work. I'm saving the money I have for a room and camping out for a couple days (as of Wednesday and Thursday). 

The Hard Part: If you think you can help me get on my feet and obtain housing, I would be eternally grateful. Heartfelt thanks to everyone who has helped.

I have the following accounts:

Zelle: erictalbot@gmail.com or e21i3@yahoo.com 

CashApp: $Talcire 

Venmo: @Talcire

PayPal: alexkarma@gmail.com 

Thank-you,

 Eric