I have not written that book, but I have certainly gathered a lifetime of interesting experiences. As I sit in a Motel 6, my computer humming in the background, I am torn as to how to construct this message. I can only focus on how many times I will use the word "I". Sorry about that. The title "I'm Not Happy and I'm Not Sad" is borrowed from the lyrics of Steven Patrick Morrissey, and I think that fits the many years of silly musical devotion. It's such a fine description of me and the conversation that I never had with too many of my close friends. Mental health issues have plagued me from early childhood and after surviving a series of heart attacks at 49, I thought I adopted a new outlook on life. That new outlook is just more extreme in its highs and lows. I became over-confident and willing to take risks and also became more isolated, withdrawn and unwilling to take advice. I'm 55 and I find myself rather ashamed and in embarrassed circumstance...